You Have Mail
by Amaryne
Summary: Many a teen's nightmare has come from those three simple words: you have mail. A story told by IMs, texts, and all those other stuff those darn teenagers use these days. Rin/Len, Kaito/Miku, Luka/Gakupo.
1. 29 Aug: In which Miku feels awesome

You have one new message from Hatsune Miku.

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_2:30am  
_**To: **Kagamine Rin, Megurine Luka_  
_**From**: Hatsune Miku

OMG! Guess what guess what guess what?!

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_2:31am  
_**To: **Hatsune Miku, Kagamine Rin_  
_**From: **Megurine Luka 

You've eaten too much leek.

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_2:31am  
_**To: **Hatsune Miku, Kagamine Rin_  
_**From: **Kagamine Rin 

Why are you _up _at this time?! ==

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_2:32am  
_**To: **Kagamine Rin, Megurine Luka_  
_**From: **Hatsune Miku 

BECAUSE BECAUSE. GUESS WHO JUST ASKED ME OUT.

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_2:33am  
_**To: **Kagamine Rin, Hatsune Miku_  
_**From: **Megurine Luka 

The loch ness monster.

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_2:34am  
_**To: **Kagamine Rin, Megurine Luka_  
_**From: **Hatsune Miku 

You are the worst friend _ever_.

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_2:35am  
_**To: **Megurine Luka, Hatsune Miku_  
_**From**: Kagamine Rin 

I am going to sleep now. And I'm going to turn off my phone.

And you are going to leave me alone.

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_2:36am  
_**To: **Hatsune Miku, Kagamine Rin_  
_**From: **Megurine Luka 

Agreed.

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_2:37am  
_**To: **Kagamine Rin, Megurine Luka_  
_**From:** Hatsune Miku 

…You guys _suck._

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_2:41am  
_**To: **Kagamine Rin, Megurine Luka_  
_**From: **Hatsune Miku 

…SOSOSOSO! Kaito asked me out! _He _asked _me _out! HE ASKED ME OUT.

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_2:42am  
_**To: **Megurine Luka, Hatsune Miku_  
_**From: **Kagamine Rin 

Oh, that's great Miku! But what was Kaito doing up at this hour?

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_2:43am  
_**To: **Kagamine Rin, Megurine Luka_  
_**From**: Hatsune Miku 

Kaito? Doing up at this hour? No, he asked me yesterday.

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_2:44am  
_**To: **Hatsune Miku, Kagamine Rin_  
_**From: **Megurine Luka 

Then _why _are you telling us this _now_? When normal people are _sleeping._

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_2:45am  
_**To: **Kagamine Rin, Megurine Luka_  
_**From**: Hatsune Miku 

Oh, we were supposed to keep it a secret. BUT I COULDN'T WAIT ANY LONGER!!! You know 5 hours is my limit…

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_2:46am  
_**To: **Megurine Luka, Hatsune Miku_  
_**From: **Kagamine Rin 

Why did he want to keep it a secret?

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_2:47am  
_**To: **Kagamine Rin, Megurine Luka_  
_**From: **Hatsune Miku 

WHO CARES?! KAITO ASKED ME OUT!!!!!!!!

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_2:48am  
_**To: **Hatsune Miku, Kagamine Rin_  
_**From: **Megurine Luka 

Good _night _Miku.

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_2:49am  
_**To: **Kagamine Rin, Megurine Luka_  
_**From: **Hatsune Miku 

NO!! YOU HAVE TO JOIN ME IN OUR GIRLY GOSSIPY DISCUSSION! HAVEN'T YOU EVER SEEN GG?!?!

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_2:50am  
_**To: **Megurine Luka, Hatsune Miku_  
_**From: **Kagamine Rin 

Is that some weird slang for a vegetable?

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_2:51am  
_**To: **Kagamine Rin, Megurine Luka_  
_**From: **Hatsune Miku 

KAITO ASKED ME !!!!!!!!!!!!

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_2:52am  
_**To: **Kagamine Rin, Megurine Luka_  
_**From**: Hatsune Miku 

HE ASKED ME, HATSUNE MIKU, OUTTTTTTTTTT!!!!

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_2:53am  
_**To: **Kagamine Rin, Megurine Luka_  
_**From: **Hatsune Miku 

MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

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_2:54am  
_**To: **Kagamine Rin, Megurine Luka_  
_**From: **Hatsune Miku 

…guys, it's really slack of you to turn your phones off.

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-x- 

**Sign in to Facebook.**

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…****

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**Log in as: **Kagamine Rin  
**Password: **orangesrkewl

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**Kagamine Len -- Kagamine Rin: **When's that family dinner again? 

**Comment** · Like · See Wall-to-Wall 

**Kagamine Rin: **I think it's this Friday. 4:30 and onwards from there.

**Kagamine Len: **What are you doing online at 3 in the morning?

**Kagamine Rin: **Miku woke me. And I could ask the same thing...

**Kagamine Len: **I have a history assignment that's overdue one week.

**Kagamine Len: **Stop laughing. I can tell you're laughing.

**Kagamine Rin: **I'm _so _telling your mum. So much for being squeaky clean and what was it? – ah, that's right, _organised _and _innocent_ and _orderly_.

**Kagamine Len: **I hate you.

**Kagamine Rin: **Love you too, honey!

-x-

**To: **Gakupo; Megurine Luka  
**From: **Kaito  
**Subject: **[No subject] 

I asked out Miku yesterday… but my mum would _kill _me if I dated a girl who wasn't into cooking and/or something to do with chickens and numbers.

But… she's so happy! She's so joyful – my mum would like her if she wasn't so dead set on becoming a singer.

HELP!!

…

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**To: **Kaito  
**From: **Megurine Luka  
**Subject: **re: [No Subject] 

And you saw fit to tell me this at 3 in the morning… _why_?

You two are both the same, seriously.

…

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…

**To: **Kaito  
**From: **Gakupo  
**Subject: **re: [No Subject] 

While I am pleased that you have deemed me worthy enough to confide in…

In times of sleep, leave me and my eggplant alone.

Thank you.

~_GackPOD_

* * *

This would be my very first Vocaloid fanfiction :D Hehehe. So, please review?


	2. 30 Aug: Stepcousins and padawan meddlers

A/N: I am such a horrible person. Really, I am. I am horrible at updating. The story came out on a whim, and you guys are so awesome to review it (like, seriously? 24 reviews? Usually I'm happy just to get two!). So hopefully this lives up to your expectations?

Also, who agrees that this whole 'let's take away the linebreaks!' business is absolutely rotten? Pshh, fanfiction(dot)net. What are you thinking? Now all my fics are a babbling mess. Shame on you.

This chapter was inspired by purple nail polish. So thank T.B.N, company of the purple and turquoise nail polish that I bought today.

Hope you enjoy!

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_7:30am_

**To: **Kagamine Rin, Megurine Luka  
**From: **Hatsune Miku

School's on today, bitches.

CAN'T WAIT TO MAKE FUN OF YOUR NEW HAIRCUTS.

AND YOUR BOYFRIEND-LESS STATUSES.

LOVE, YOUR EVER-BEAUTIFUL FRIEND,

MIKU

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_7:31am  
_**To: **Hatsune Miku  
**From: **Kagamine Rin

SCREW YOU. YOU LIVE NEAR THE SCHOOL SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO GET UP AT FIVE IN THE MORNING.

I HATE YOU. I HOPE YOU EAT SOMETHING FATTY AND GREASY WITHOUT KNOWING IT.

(Oh yeah, I _so _went there.)

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_7:32am  
_**To:** Kagamine Rin  
**From: **Hatsune Miku

What's that I hear? I believe it's jealousy rearing its ugly head.

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_7:34am  
_**To: **Hatsune Miku, Kagamine Rin  
**From**: Megurine Luka

You _do _both realise that school starts in three minutes.

Oh, and Gakupo wants you to know that he's bought another one of those crappy samurai swords to add to his collection.

Also, he's brought celebratory eggplants.

You have been warned.

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**Welcome back, Vocaloid students!**

Notices: We have a **Bake Sale for Autism **sponsored by the **P&C **so a big thanks to them!

Small muffins – 50c

Large muffins - $1.00

Remember to bring money. All profits will be sent to the **Support for Autism **charity.

The year sevens will be arriving on **Wednesday**, so remember to come to school at 11:57am, rather than the usual.

For **year nines**. The majority of you have been seen hanging around the train station. This is called **loitering **and it's a **felony**. Please change your social spot. Thank you.

For **year tens**. A reminder that you can now use the **senior pathway**! Make sure to wear your exclusive senior badge as proof that you're a senior.

For **year elevens**. A reminder that this year will be a lot tougher than the last few. Study hard!

For **year twelves**. A reminder that even if you have a free period, leaving the school premises requires you to sign in the **study leave **book, even if it's just temporary.

Personal Notices:

_To publish a notice to your friends or boy/girlfriends, just send it your message in the **Personal Notices **box outside the newsletter's office in an envelope with the money in it. It is 5c a word._

From **Beckett: **Hey Hayley. Go out with me?

From **Judy**: Daniel are we going to prom 2gether?

From **Jackson**: 2 Jen – soz for last night. Make-up?

Other

**CANTEEN SPECIALS ARE FOR TODAY:**

**5.50** for a large tuna sandwich and a soft drink of your choice!

**1.50** for a spider drink – which is a soft drink with vanilla ice-cream in it.

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_7:43am_

**To: **Hatsune Kyoko

**From**: Vocaloid School of Arts

Your child **'Hatsune Miku**' was late for school today. S/he arrived at **7:42am**.

Please reply with an explanation, or bring a note to the school.

Thank you.

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_7:45am_

**To: **Hatsune Miku  
**From: **Kagamine Rin

HAHA. YOU WERE LATE, AND WE HAVE PACK-WOMAN THE PRUDE FOR HOMEROOM. SUCKS TO BE YOU, MIKU.

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_7:46am_

**To: **Kagamine Rin  
**From**: Hatsune Miku

I have detention.

And you suck.

But I win on this round simply because I have a boyfriend, and you still look like a nine-year old.

SO SUCKS TO BE _YOU_, RINNIE.

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_7:48am_

**To:** Megurine Luka  
**From: **Kamui Gakupo

I have placed an eggplant in your locker.

I hope you like it.

:)

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_7:50am_

**To: **Hatsune Miku  
**From**: Megurine Luka

Since you're enough of a slut for me to ask – did Gakupo put an eggplant in your locker? Just wondering.

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_7:51am_

**To: **Megurine Luka  
**From: **Hatsune Miku

No, why?

(And I'm not a slut. Meiko is. Seriously, who does she think she is, baring her midriff around _my _man? She is so going down.)

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_7:52am_

**To: **Hatsune Miku  
**From: **Megurine Luka

Oh. Well. Cool.

I was just... curious.

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_7:55am_

**To:** Hatsune Miku  
**From: **Kagamine Rin

Okay, because you're an idiot who isn't in the advanced maths class, I'm playing spy for you.

Luka is smiling.

Like, not a 'you're-an-idiot' smile.

Or an 'I'm-amused-because-you're-about-to-fall-down-a-dark-dark-hole' smile.

It's an 'if-this-wasn't-maths-class-I'd-be-_so-_jumping-for-joy-right-now' smile.

WHO DO YOU THINK THE GUY IS?

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_7:56am  
_**To:** Kagamine Rin  
**From: **Hatsune Miku

OH MY GOD.

IT'S GAKUPO.

HE PUT AN EGGPLANT IN HER LOCKER.

LIKE, ONLY IN _HER _LOCKER.

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!

SHOPPING. LIKE, TODAY.

TIME TO BEGIN SEXUAL TENSION.

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_7:57am  
_**To: **Hatsune Miku  
**From: **Kagamine Rin

Dude, it's Luka.

And it's _Gakupo_.

It's probably going to take Luka three years to admit she likes _Gakupo_.

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_7:58am  
_**To: **Kagamine Rin  
**From: **Hatsune Miku

Oh, that's right.

That sucks.

OH SHIT TEACHER IS CO

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_7:59am  
_**To: **Kagamine Rin  
**From: **Kagamine Len

Miku wants you to know that she got her phone confiscated.

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_8:01am  
_**To: **Kagamine Len  
**From: **Kagamine Rin

_You're _in Miku's maths class?

...dude, that's sad, man.

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_8:02am  
_**To: **Kagamine Rin  
**From: **Kagamine Len

It's all part of my diabolical plan.

We don't get homework in this class.

Or class tests.

So suck on that.

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_8:03am_

**To: **Kagamine Len  
**From: **Kagamine Rin

Go die.

Like, now.

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_8:20am_

**To: **Kagamine Rin  
**From**: Megurine Luka

It's second period, and Meiko is having a 'start-of-school' party. Which is a lame excuse, but whatever.

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_8:21am_

**To: **Megurine Luka  
**From: **Kagamine Rin

Oh God. Meiko is having a party?

Miku must be having a _fit_.

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_8:22am  
_**To: **Kagamine Rin  
**From: **Megurine Luka

She's hyperventilating.

Especially because Kaito has already RSVP'd.

Kaito's nice and all, but how can he not notice that Miku absolutely _despises _Meiko?

Lucky for Miku, our history teacher is one of those unfortunate males who can't deal with emotional women.

Oh, and Len's going.

Just thought that might interest you.

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_8:23am_

**To: **Megurine Luka  
**From: **Kagamine Rin

And why would that interest me?

He's _family_.

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_8:24am_

**To: **Kagamine Rin  
**From: **Megurine Luka

No, he's your _step-cousin_. Completely different.

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_8:25am_

**To: **Megurine Luka  
**From: **Kagamine Rin

How.

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_8:26am_

**To: **Kagamine Rin  
**From: **Megurine Luka

Because you're not related.

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_8:27am_

**To: **Megurine Luka  
**From: **Kagamine Rin

...Oh my God, are you like, _meddling_? With _my _life?

MIKU AND I ARE EXPERT MEDDLERS. DO NOT EXPECT YOUR STUPID 'thought this would interest you wink wink nudge nudge' TO MAKE ANY MEDDLESOME SITUATIONS. BECAUSE I AM THE MASTER JEDI, YOU ARE THE PADAWAN. I WIN, YOU LOSE.

Speaking of forbidden romances, what's up with you and Gakupo?

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_8:28am_

**To: **Kagamine Rin  
**From: **Megurine Luka

I win on this round because you just threw a _Star Wars _reference in my face.

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_8:30am_

**To: **Megurine Luka  
**From: **Kagamine Rin

Don't think I haven't noticed your sneaky way of avoiding my question.

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_8:31am_

**To: **Kagamine Rin

**From: **Megurine Luka

Go back to daydreaming about Len, Rinnie.

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_8:32am_

**To: **Megurine Luka  
**From: **Kagamine Rin

I don't like you.

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_8:45am  
_**To: **Hatsune Miku  
**From: **Hatsune Kyoko

You were late on the first day of school.

Late. On the _first day of school_.

You have some explaining to do when you get home, Miku.

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**To: **Gakupo  
**From: **Kaito  
**Subject: **Miku just got her phone back

So why is she bashing her head against the table?

* * *

Oh gosh. I forgot how much fun this story was.

R&R :)


	3. 30 Aug: Handcuffs & disturbing emoticons

_9:30pm_**  
To: **Kagamine Rin, Megurine Luka  
**From: **Hatsune Miku

IM – NOW.

(Also, I sent you both emails.)

...

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...

...

...

**FROM: **DIVALICIOUSMIKU01  
**TO: **LMqueen, Rin-K  
**SUBJECT: **THE WHORE'S PARTY

So, it has come to my attention that _Meiko _is holding a party.

Everyone knows that _I'm _the life of the party – _I _always host the beginning-of-school one, and it _ALWAYS _goes _smashingly_.

But no. _Meiko _has decided to hold one instead – although we all know that all she does is drink and yell. And bare her midriff. This isn't a joke, guys.

This means WAR.

So, I have comprised a few notes on how to _steal the show_, so to speak.

**HOW TO SABOTAGE A PARTY  
**by Hatsune Miku

First step: look awesome.

**RIN**, you, like me, lack in the chest area. However, you make up for that with your pretty petite angel appearance and I make it up with my lovely legs. Only use a push-up bra when _necessary_. Rin, I suggest you wear a **RED COCKTAIL DRESS**. You'll look jaw-dropping in it. I know, I know, I kick ass.

**LUKA**, well, you're a perfect, chest-filling bitch. But don't worry. You're too awesome to hate. Wear that turquoise thing you bought last year.

Second step: don't get drunk.

Like, seriously. Remember in ninth grade, when Sayuki got drunk off her ass and ended up making out with the twenty-three year old D.J? Yeah. Best not to let that happen again.

Third step: attract guys.

This doesn't apply to me (because I'm a beautiful goddess who already as a boyfriend, so, ha, _in your face_ ladies) but you two are single and ready to mingle (ew, I can't believe I just said that. Or typed that. Or whatever).

Best to focus on the more popular guys – Kaito's friends, maybe. Rin, if you punch one of them in the face, I will slap you. I don't care that if a guy said that to you in Afghanistan, he'd be stoned to death by a goat. Seriously. I'm not saying to go screw in a closest, just, you know, _flirting_. That would lead away from Meiko's midriff-baring.

Fourth step: have fun.

SO GET YOUR MAKE-UP AND HAIR DONE, LADIES.

...

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...

...

...

_divaliciousmiku01, rinK, LMqueen have now entered the chatroom_

**divaliciousmiku01: **so. did you guys get my email?

**rinK: **unfortunately.

**LMqueen: **Miku, you are a sad person. Maybe you should consider sorting our your inferiority complex.

**rinK : **what she said.

**divaliciousmiku01: **oh please. spare me your pseudo psychological wikipedia babble. i have many reasons why i dislike meiko.

**rinK: **come on. she's not _that _bad.

**divaliciousmiku01: **seriously? _seriously _rin? after all i've done for you?

**rinK:** what you've _done _for me? you haven't done _anything_, you liar.

**LMqueen: **We all know that the only reason why Miku hates Meiko is because a) Meiko is more... _womanly _in curves, and b) Kaito and Meiko have a relationship very potential for Unresolved Sexual Tension.

**rinK: **didn't they use to go out?

**LMqueen: **Pshh, neither of them will say anything.

**divaliciousmiku01: **gee, you guys. thanks. MY SELF-ESTEEM IS GRATEFUL. (NOT.)

**LMqueen: **Kaito likes you, not her.

**divaliciousmiku01: **HOW DO WE KNOW THAT?

**rinK: **uhh... because he's going out with _you_?

**divaliciousmiku01: **like that MEANS anything. what if we get married and in ten years i find out that he's been having steamy off and on affair with her the whole time? what if we get divorced? WHAT IF WE TRAUMATISE OUR KIDS?

**LMqueen: **A little early in the relationship to be thinking about kids, Miku.

**divaliciousmiku01: **lies.

**rinK: **i read that the sure-fire way to keep your man is to sleep with him.

**divaliciousmiku01: **WHAT?

**LMqueen: **WHAT?

**rinK: **yeah.

**LMqueen: **RIN. I'm so ashamed of you.

_**Personal Message to LMqueen: **_it's all part of a diabolical plan. PLAY ALONG. obviously kaito will say NO once he finds out that miku's only doing it to keep him faithful. then theyll have a hughugkisskiss thing and shell be secure, once and for all.

_**Personal Message to rinK: **_You genius.

**LMqueen: **Actually, um, that's true.

**divaliciousmiku01: **what? seriously?

**LMqueen: **Case studies have shown that relationships with, er, more sex last longer.

**rinK: **yeah.

**divaliciousmiku01: **...OKAY, AWESOME. THANKS, GUYS.

**rinK: **np.

**LMqueen: **Anyway, so don't jump on Meiko or start bitchfights, Miku. Seriously.

**divaliciousmiku01: **well, duh. not in public, anyway. i have enough dignity for that.

**rinK: **speaking of dignity, did gakupo give you an _eggplant _today, luka?

**LMqueen: **No.

**divaliciousmiku01: **denial isn't just a river in egypt, you know.

**rinK hi-fives divaliciousmiku01.**

**LMqueen: **We are _purely _platonic. Please. I can do better than Gakupo.

**rinK: **deniaaaal, deniaaaal! :)

**LMqueen: **Oh _please_. Pot calling the kettle _black_. What's with you and Len?

**rinK: **FOR THE LAST TIME, I HAVE NO INTEREST IN LEN. HE IS MY STEP-COUSIN. SO IT'S GROSS.

**divaliciousmiku01: **OMG I DIDNT KNOW YOU LIKED LEN! omg. he's _cute_. a little short for my tastes, but _cute_. and lol, overreacting much?

**rinK: **you know what you guys are? sick INCEST supporters. GO PUSH YOUR FACE IN A BLENDER. I HAVE A FAMILY DINNER TO GET TO.

**rinK has signed off.**

**LMqueen: **She totally likes him.

**divaliciousmiku01: **totally.

...

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...

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DEAR LEN –

IF YOU, BY CHANCE, HEAR THE WORDS 'RIN', 'CRUSH ON' AND 'LEN' AND POSSIBLY 'DENIAL' THEN PLEASE CONSULT ME SO THAT I CAN GET OUT MY BAZOOKA AND ERADICATE THE OFFENDERS.

REGARDS,

RIN

...

...

RIN,

WHY ARE YOU WRITING ON NAPKINS? MY MUM WILL KILL YOU.

ALSO.

WE ALL KNOW OF YOUR UNDYING LOVE FOR ME. WHY NOT JUST SKIP PAST THE AWKWARD ADMITTANCE AND SKIP STRAIGHT TO THE STEAMY BITS, HMM?

LEN

...

...

LEN

I AM SO TELLING YOUR MOM. STRAIGHT-A ANGEL MY ASS.

AND I LIKE SOMEONE.

JUST NOT _YOU_.

RIN

...

...

RIN

I FEEL SORRY FOR HIM.

LEN

...

...

LEN

IF YOU WANT TO FEEL SORRY FOR SOMEONE, LOOK IN THE MIRROR.

OH YEAH, BURNED YOU SO BADLY.

RIN

...

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_10:01pm  
_**To: **Kagamine Len  
**From: **Dad

You want to explain to me why you're scribbling on the napkins?

...

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_10:02pm  
_**To: **Dad  
**From: **Kagamine Len

It's very important business, dad.

...

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_10:03pm  
_**To: **Kagamine Len  
**From: **Dad

Really now.

...

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_10:04pm  
_**To: **Dad  
**From: **Kagamine Len

Yes really.

...

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_10:05pm  
_**To: **Kagamine Len  
**From: **Dad

Alright. Just remember to use protection. And don't tell your mother, she'll have an aneurysm.

...

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_10:06pm  
_**To: **Dad  
**From: **Kagamine Len

WHAT.

...

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_10:07pm  
_**To: **Kagamine Len  
**From: **Dad

;)

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LEN

YOU SEEM TO HAVE DROPPED YOUR CELL PHONE. WHAT IS THIS?

...ew, your dad just sent you a 'wink' icon.

NO WONDER YOU LOOK DISTURBED.

I SYMPATHISE.

RIN

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_10:30pm_**  
To: **Kaito  
**From: **Hatsune Miku

After Meiko's party, I will be waiting with whipped cream and handcuffs.

...

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_10:31pm_**  
To: **Hatsune Miku  
**From: **Kaito

I... well... _what_?

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_10:32pm_**  
To: **Kaito  
**From: **Hatsune Miku

Do you prefer scarves for bondage, or hardcore stuff?

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_10:33pm_**  
To: **Hatsune Miku  
**From: **Kaito

I am so confused.

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_10:34pm  
_**To: **Kaito  
**From: **Hatsune Miku

SCARVES IT IS.

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**Sign in to Facebook**

...

...

**Log in as: **Kaito  
**Password: **aeroplanejellyicecream

...

...

**GackPOD: **AH, dashing man of the ice-cream food – join me in Facebook chat.

**Kaito: **sure :) what's up?

**GackPOD: **I have had my eyes set on a fair maiden for quite some time, and I have acted upon them! Inside her locker I have placed a single eggplant to signify my strength of feelings – but woe, for she has not responded.

**Kaito: **ummm... wait a while, maybe?

**GackPOD: **INGENIUS. Thank you, my brother.

**Kaito: **uhhh...

**GackPOD is offline.**

...

...

...

...

...

_10:52pm  
_**To: **Hatsune Miku  
**From: **Kagamine Rin

WHATEVER YOU DO, DO _NOT _GO ON FACEBOOK. SERIOUSLY.

...

...

...

...

...

**Sign in to Facebook**

...

...

**Log in as: **Hatsune Miku  
**Password: **tealistehshiz

...

...

**Meiko **and **Kaito **are now **engaged.**

...

...

**Comment** · Like ·

...

...

**Hatsune Miku: **WHAT?

...

...

...

...

...

...

**A/N: **poor Miku. Thanks everyone for the FANTASTIC reviews, please keep reviewing :) Hopefully I'll be able to update this more regularly (like, maybe once a week or once every two weeks).


	4. 1 Sep: In which Prada shoes come in

A/N: Should I do the little linebreaks (the '...') with one dot or three? I'm going to try out one dot for now, because it looks a little cleaner, and it's less time consuming.

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_2:01am  
_**To: **Hatsune Miku  
**From: **Kagamine Rin

Are you okay?

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_2:02am  
_**To: **Kagamine Rin  
**From: **Hatsune Miku

Shut up, Rinnie. Go back to sleep.

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_2:03am  
_**To: **Hatsune Miku  
**From: **Kagamine Rin

PERFUME IS MADE OUT OF WHALE VOMIT.

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_2:04am  
_**To: **Kagamine Rin  
**From:** Hatsune Miku

...THAT WAS THE WORST CHEERING UP METHOD, _EVER_.

But fine.

I'm annoyed.

And sad.

Satisfied?

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_2:05am  
_**To: **Hatsune Miku  
**From: **Kagamine Rin

SATISFIED? Pssht.

Come on, Miku-pants. Grow a pair. You are HATSUNE MIKU. YOU DO NOT TAKE THIS SHIT FROM MEIKO. OR KAITO.

Plus, it was probably, just, you know, a _joke_. They HAVE been childhood friends since forever.

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_2:06am  
_**To: **Kagamine Rin  
**From: **Hatsune Miku

I'm over the Facebook thing. Kind of. Look, I'll tell you more tomorrow, okay? You and Luka both.

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_2:07am  
_**To: **Hatsune Miku  
**From: **Kagamine Rin

:(

Alright.

Just remember – YOU ARE A STRONG, INDEPENDANT WOMAN.

.

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_2:08am  
_**To: **Kagamine Rin  
**From: **Hatsune Miku

Aw, you are so awesome.

.

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**SAMPLE SALE ON FIFTH AVENUE**

**11:00AM – 9:30PM**

**LOUIS VUITTON, GUCCI, MARC JACOBS AND MORE!**

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_7:28am_**  
To: **Megurine Luka, Kagamine Rin  
**From: **Hatsune Miku

Skipping school today. Join me?

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_7:29am  
_**To: **Hatsune Miku, Kagamine Rin  
**From: **Megurine Luka

Miku, it's the second day of school.

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_7:30am  
_**To: **Megurine Luka, Kagamine Rin  
**From: **Hatsune Miku

I know, but there's a sample sale today.

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_7:31am  
_**To: **Hatsune Miku, Megurine Luka  
**From: **Kagamine Rin

This wouldn't have anything to do with Kaito and Meiko, would it?

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_7:32am  
_**To: **Kagamine Rin, Megurine Luka  
**From: **Hatsune Miku

Of course not. What do you take me for?

I'm just taking a day off.

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_7:33am  
_**To: **Hatsune Miku, Kagamine Rin  
**From: **Megurine Luka

A day off. On the second day of school. Right after our summer break.

Oh, yeah. Understandable.

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_7:34am  
_**To: **Kagamine Rin, Megurine Luka  
**From: **Hatsune Miku

Shut up. I'm just tired.

So any takers?

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_7:35am  
_**To: **Hatsune Miku, Megurine Luka  
**From: **Kagamine Rin

My mum would kill me.

So, no.

Also, I do believe that truanting is against the law. Or something. It's against some sort of a rule somewhere someplace somehow.

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_7:36am  
_**To: **Hatsune Miku, Kagamine Rin  
**From: **Megurine Luka

No.

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_7:37am  
_**To: **Kagamine Rin, Megurine Luka  
**From: **Hatsune Miku

Your loss.

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**To: **Kaito  
**From: **Kagamine Rin  
**Subject: **Your girlfriend

Is now truanting because of you.

What the hell, Kaito? You _know _she's liked you for ages. Well, maybe you don't, because you're an idiot with a peanut for a brain – but why'd you have to pull a stunt like this? Seriously.

She's probably going to cry herself to death. And then kill herself in a ditch.

And then get gang-raped.

Do you want your girlfriend to get GANG-RAPED? DO YOU, KAITO? DO YOU?

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**To: **Kagamine Rin  
**From: **Kaito  
**Subject: **re: Your girlfriend

...People can get raped after they're dead?

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**To: **Kaito  
**From: **Kagamine Rin  
**Subject: **re: re: Your girlfriend

Seriously? Out of ALL THAT you can only say THAT? OF ALL THINGS?

You totally suck as a boyfriend.

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**To: **Hatsune Kyoko  
**From: **Vocaloid School of Arts

Your child **'Hatsune Miku' **was absent from school today.

Please reply with an explanation, or bring a note to the school.

Thank you.

.

.

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_10:35am_**  
To: **Hatsune Miku  
**From: **Kaito

Are you okay? Are you sick?

.

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_10:37am  
_**To: **Kaito  
**From: **Hatsune Miku

Um, yes. I am... very much sick.

Coughing, hurling, all that.

Sick, sick, sick.

Yeah.

Don't come over to check, or anything.

You... could get contagious.

And stuff.

Yeah.

.

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_10:38am  
_**To: **Hatsune Miku  
**From: **Kaito

:(

Oh. Good. Well, not good, but Rin said you were skipping school today because of the Meiko thing.

I hope you're not. It's just that we've been childhood friends for ages, and she thought it'd be a funny joke! You can ask her yourself :D

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_10:40am  
_**To: **Hatsune Miku  
**From: **Kaito

Miku?

.

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_11:59am  
_**To: **Kagamine Rin  
**From: **Hatsune Miku

Three Gucci bags, a Hermes scarf and Prada shoes.

NOW tell me it wasn't worth it.

.

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_12:01am  
_**To: **Hatsune Miku  
**From: **Kagamine Rin

YOU HAVE PRADA SHOES?

OH, SCREW YOU, BITCH.

Meet up someplace at lunch?

.

.

_12:02am  
_**To: **Kagamine Rin  
**From: **Hatsune Miku

Can't. Am in the city, and I don't even think I have enough money to catch the train home.

Get Lennie-kins to drive me?

.

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_12:03am  
_**To: **Hatsune Miku  
**From: **Kagamine Rin

Oh, well, screw you. Again.

Look, it's just a guy. You know what? It's not even a guy. It's KAITO, for Christ's sake.

And you're MIKU. HATSUNE MIKU.

You didn't have to skip school over it.

.

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_12:04am  
_**To: **Kagamine Rin  
**From: **Hatsune Miku

Well. It's not that.

It is, but...

I'm just so STUPID, you know? What the hell was I thinking? I'm like that Clingy Possessive Girl everyone hates because she gets in the way of the fan preferred couple.

I'm clinging on to a relationship that's barely even STARTED. And all the Prada shoes in the world can't change that.

Ugh.

FML.

.

.

_12:05am  
_**To: **Hatsune Miku  
**From: **Kagamine Rin

Wow.

You are so whipped.

.

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_12:06am  
_**To: **Kagamine Rin  
**From: **Hatsune Miku

I know. UGH.

.

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_12:25am  
_**To: **Hatsune Miku  
**From: **Megurine Luka

I know you're hurting right now, because Meiko and Kaito seem to have UST or something, but come on.

Hatsune Miku does not cower.

She thrives.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but: YOU GO TEAR UP THAT BYOTCH, GIRLFRIEND.

...Yeah.

.

.

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**FROM: **DIVALICIOUSMIKU01  
**TO: **LMqueen, Rin-K  
**SUBJECT: **PRADA, BITCHES

THAT'S RIGHT, I'M BACK IN BUSINESS, BABY.

TIME FOR PRADA PUMPS, SEXY –SEXY DRESSES AND RED NAIL POLISH.

Oh, and some money would be good too, thanks...

.

.

.

.

.

**To: **Hatsune Kyoko  
**From: **Vocaloid School of Arts

Your child, **'Hatsune Miku'**, was late for school today. **S/he **arrived at **12:53pm.**

Please reply with an explanation, or bring a note to the school.

Thank you.

.

.

.

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_12:59am_**  
To: **Hatsune Miku  
**From: **Hatsune Kyoko

We are going to have a long talk when you get home.

I'm very disappointed in you, Miku.

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_1:00pm  
_**To: **Kagamine Rin, Megurine Luka  
**From: **Hatsune Miku

FML.

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A/N: This one did not have much of the funneyz in it, which I assure you I will compensate for next chapter. I just wanted to get this out of my system so that the next chapter could be, er... fresher? I don't know. I was sort of luggy and stuff during this one.

While I was writing all this, I realised that I unintentionally made this into a Miku/Kaito focused fic. Not to worry. I promise to insert more Rin/Len... sometime. Soon.

In the meantime, if you're looking for a Rin/Len fic, read my new chapter story 'Socialites'?

/shot for shameless plugging.

For those who do not know: FML = FUCK MY LIFE.

Thanks you all for the awesome reviews, they really make my day. If I don't reply, don't take it personally, I just don't log in very often and when I do, it's just to post stories. But I do read through all of them – and I appreciate them so, so much. Thanks, guys :D


	5. 1 Sep: Intro to meddling and bunnies

**A/N: **Apologies for the late update. Assignments, exams – you know the drill. But I have only have one more test so huzzah! ...and yes. Back to business :)

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_7:43pm  
_**To: **Megurine Luka; Kagamine Rin  
**From:** Hatsune Miku

MY MUM HAS GROUNDED ME.

MY MUM. HAS GROUNDED. _ME_.

ARGH!

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_7:44pm  
_**To:** Hatsune Miku  
**From: **Megurine Luka

Serves you right. You can't truant and get away with it. The government keeps tabs on everything.

.

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_7:45pm  
_**To: **Megurine Luka  
**From:** Hatsune Miku

Yeah, so not the reaction I was aiming for.

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_7:56pm  
_**To: **Kagamine Rin  
**From: **Kagamine Len

Hey. Uh. My shoelaces are undone.

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_7:57pm  
_**To: **Kagamine Len  
**From: **Kagamine Rin

Yes. And?

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_7:58pm  
_**To: **Kagamine Rin  
**From: **Kagamine Len

They're undone. And... they're very much undone.

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_7:59pm  
_**To: **Kagamine Len  
**From:** Kagamine Rin

Great. Tie them together, then.

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_8:01pm  
_**To: **Kagamine Rin  
**From: **Kagamine Len

...I can't.

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_8:02pm  
_**To: **Kagamine Len  
**From: **Kagamine Rin

And why is that?

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_8:03pm  
_**To: **Kagamine Rin  
**From: **Kagamine Len

...because I don't remember how to.

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_8:04pm  
_**To: **Kagamine Len  
**From: **Kagamine Rin

Well, this is quite the dilemma.

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_8:05pm  
_**To: **Kagamine Rin  
**From: **Kagamine Len

It is.

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_8:06pm  
_**To: **Kagamine Len  
**From: **Kagamine Rin

What do you want me to do about it?

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_8:07pm  
_**To: **Kagamine Rin  
**From: **Kagamine Len

Um. Tell me that thing. About the bunny.

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_8:08am  
_**To: **Kagamine Len  
**From: **Kagamine Rin

You wrap the bunny ears around each other, and then one of the bunny ears scurry through the hole and you pull them tight.

.

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_8:09am  
_**To: **Kagamine Rin  
**From: **Kagamine Len

...thank you.

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_8:10pm  
_**To: **Kagamine Len  
**From: **Kagamine Rin

No problem, bunny-boy.

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**FROM: **DIVALICIOUSMIKU01  
**TO: **Lmqueen  
**SUBJECT: **MY TOTAL FRUSTRATION

I am so lucky that my iPhone has wireless.

ANYWAY. ON TO WORK.

Usually I have Rinnie scheming with me to do some expert meddling with you, Luka-face. But Rin's situation is in dire need of meddling, whereas yours can wait. BUT FEAR NOT, LUKA-KINS. We shall get to you. Soon. DON'T THINK THAT YOU'RE SAFE, LUKA-FACE. MOVES SHALL BE MADE. AND WITH MUCH MOVEMENT.

**SITUATION: **Rin and Len. Right and left. Yin and yang. BOYFRIEND AND GIRLFRIEND. DO YOU SEE WHERE I AM GOING WITH THIS?  
**THE UBER-DILEMMA: **When a boy and a girl meet each other and like each other, usually they go out with each other... unfortunately, this apparently doesn't apply when they are 'step-cousins'. Rin and Len are facing the ultimate taboo – INCEST. However, they both – typically enough – forget that they are not actually related.

Sure, they look like they could be. But did you know that most people actually find themselves attracted to people with faces similar to themselves because they appear more trustworthy?

(I BET YOU DIDN'T. THIS IS WHY I'M AWESOME.)

THINK ABOUT IT. Gakupo's hair is purple. Yours is pink. Mine is teal. Kaito's is blue. RIN AND LEN ARE BOTH BLONDE. SAME COLOUR RANGE.

This can only lead to one conclusion.

It's a sign sent by God.

**GOAL: **To get them together. DUH.

So, Luka-face. TIME TO MEDDLE.

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**FROM: **Lmqueen  
**TO: **DIVALICIOUSMIKU01  
**SUBJECT: **Wow

You sad, pathetic person.

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**FROM: **DIVALICIOUSMIKU01  
**TO:** Lmqueen  
**SUBJECT: **re: Wow

I'M SERIOUS. COME ON, LUKA-FACE. WE NEED TO MATCHMAKE. AND SOMEHOW INVOLVE GAKUPO SO THAT YOU FALL IN LOVE AND CRAP.

SINCE YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY IN SERIOUS DENIAL.

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**FROM: **DIVALICIOUSMIKU01  
**TO: **Lmqueen  
**SUBJECT: **HEY

LUKA.

LUKA PANTS.

LUKA.

.

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**FROM: **DIVALICIOUSMIKU01  
**TO: **Lmqueen  
**SUBJECT: **blah

WELL. SCREW YOU. I CAN DO THIS ON MY OWN.

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**FROM: **Lmqueen  
**TO: **DIVALICIOUSMIKU01  
**SUBJECT: **Sigh...  
_Attached: RinLen_schooltimetables_

Do what you want with it.

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**FROM: **DIVALICIOUS01  
**TO: **Lmqueen  
**SUBJECT: **re: Sigh

I LOVE YOU. I WOULD HAVE YOUR BABIES EXCEPT WE ARE BOTH FEMALE THEREFORE THAT WILL NOT WORK.

BUT IF YOU WERE MALE I WOULD TOTALLY HAVE YOUR BABIES.

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_8:38pm  
_**To: **Hatsune Miku  
**From: **Kaito

Are you okay? I called you and you didn't pick up.

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_8:39pm  
_**To: **Kaito  
**From: **Hatsune Miku

We are so not speaking right now.

The Meiko thing WAS NOT COOL, KAITO. NOT COOL.

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_8:42pm  
_**To: **Hatsune Miku  
**From: **Kaito

I'm sorry.

.

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_8:43pm  
_**To: **Kaito  
**From: **Hatsune Miku

WE ARE NOT SPEAKING.

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_8:44pm  
_**To: **Hatsune Miku  
**From: **Kaito

But I like speaking to you. And texting you.

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_8:45pm  
_**To: **Kaito  
**From: **Hatsune Miku

SHUT UP. STOP TEXTING ME.

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_8:46pm  
_**To: **Hatsune Miku  
**From: **Kaito

...:(

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_9:24pm  
_**To: **Megurine Luka  
**From: **Gakupo

Look out your window, my sweet dove!

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_9:37pm  
_**To: **Gakupo  
**From: **Megurine Luka

What the HELL, Gakupo?

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_9:38pm  
_**To: **Megurine Luka  
**From: **Kagamine Rin

Uhh, not to be stalkerish or anything, but I think that there's a giant teddy-bear balloon tied to your roof.

.

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_TO MY SWEET DOVE MEGURINE LUKA_

_FROM YOUR EVER-FAITHFUL EGGPLANT_

_GAKUPO_

_._

_._

_9:39pm  
_**To: **Kagamine Rin  
**From: **Megurine Luka

I hate my life.

.

.

.

.

.

**Sign into Facebook**

.

.

**Log in as: **Kaito  
**Password: **aeroplanejellyicecream

.

.

**Hatsune Miku **has changed her status to **It's Complicated**.

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**Comment**

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.

**Kaito: **...D:

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**Kagamine Len: **lol, kaito, you are so screwed.

**Kaito: **D:

**Kagamine Len: **so. talk.

**Kaito: **...D:

**Kagamine Len: **moping about it will do nothing.

**Kaito: **i think Miku's angry with me.

**Kagamine Len: **you don't say.

**Kaito: **All because of Meiko. What should I do?

**Kagamine Len: **...uh. buy chocolates?

**Kaito: **Miku says chocolates are fattening.

**Kagamine Len: **ah. ok.

**Kaito: **D:

**Kagamine Len: **come on. be a man about it!

**Kaito: **...weren't you the one texting their cousin because they forgot how to tie their shoelaces?

**Kagamine Len: **SHUT UP. THAT IS A SECRET BETWEEN _ME _and _RIN_. NOT YOU.

**Kaito: **D:

**Kagamine Len: **just say sorry. and don't talk to meiko for a while.

**Kaito: **but Meiko is a family friend D:

**Kagamine Len: **i'm sure she'll understand. why did you get engaged to meiko, anyway? i don't see the logic there.

**Kaito: **She just thought it would be funny.

**Kagamine Len: **really.

**Kaito: **yeah.

**Kagamine Len: **...can't help you there, man. you're too far gone for me to help.

**Kaito: **...D:


	6. 2 Sep: The Kaito List

A/N: I haven't updated this for... what? Half a year? Something like that. However long, SOMEONE STILL OUGHT TO SLAP ME.

I was reading over a few more recent reviews and obviously said reviewers have Jedi mind control powers, because I instantly started working on this.

And to those who are more Vocaloid-savvy than I am – do you know what Meiko and Kaito's last name is? I checked their character sheets and everything and I have no fecking idea.

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_1:30pm  
_**To: **Meiko Bitchpants  
**From: **Hatsune Miku

There is a saying. And that saying is 'D-CUPPED BITCHES WHO SLUT AROUND DON'T GET MIKU'S BOYFIREND'.

Capiche?

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_1:31pm  
_**To: **Hatsune Miku  
**From: **Meiko

A) That is so not a saying. I slut around, but I do it with _dignity_.

B) Kaito and I are _friends_. I don't get why you're so insecure about all this.

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_1:32pm  
_**To: **Meiko Bitchpants  
**From: **Hatsune Miku

A) How can you slut around with _dignity_? You have to be shitting me.

B) YOU'VE MADE OUT WITH HIM. YOU'VE GONE OUT WITH HIM. YOU'RE A 'CLOSE FRIEND' AND YOU'RE _WILDLY ATTRACTIVE_. Hell, you might have TAKEN HIS VIRGINITY.

So, WOE IS ME.

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_1:33pm  
_**To: **Megurine Luka  
**From: **Kagamine Rin

...Is Miku texting _Meiko_? Like, _seriously_?

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_1:34pm  
_**To: **Kagamine Rin  
**From:** Megurine Luka

How am I supposed to know? I'm in elective history. You and Miku do textiles. Ask your boyfriend. I mean, cousin.

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_1:35pm  
_**To: **Megurine Luka  
**From: **Kagamine Rin

I dislike you. Intensely.

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_1:36pm  
_**To: **Kagamine Len  
**From:** Kagamine Rin

Can you check if Miku's texting Meiko? Like, look over Meiko's shoulder or something.

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_1:37pm  
_**To: **Kagamine Rin  
**From: **Kagamine Len

You want me to see who Meiko's texting? That's not stalkerish at all.

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_1:38pm  
_**To: **Kagamine Len  
**From: **Kagamine Rin

ARGH. Nevermind. You'd just ignore the phone and look straight at her boobs, anyway.

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_1:33pm  
_**To: **Hatsune Miku  
**From: **Meiko

...You think I'm _wildly attractive_? Hiding some fantasies there, Miku-darling?

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_1:34pm  
_**To: **Meiko Bitchpants  
**From: **Hatsune Miku

NO. NO I'M NOT. YOU DISGUST ME.

Also, I wouldn't do you anyway. Those boobs are so not real. Implants are gross.

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_1:35pm  
_**To: **Hatsune Miku  
**From: **Meiko

..._Excuse me?_

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_1:36pm  
_**To: **Meiko Bitchpants  
**From: **Hatsune Miku

You heard me.

I mean, read me. Whatever.

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_1:37pm  
_**To: **Hatsune Miku  
**From: **Meiko

I'll have you know that I'm _au naturel, _Miku. Besides, you can't talk, Miss HAIR-EXTENSIONS.

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_1:38pm  
_**To: **Meiko Bitchpants  
**From: **Hatsune Miku

...Oh you just so did _not_.

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_1:42pm  
_**To: **Kaito  
**From: **Kagamine Len

I don't know where you are, but... uhh... your girlfriend and your... concubine are dueling. Sorta. Catfighting or whatever. Hair pulling and all that. They're in the cafeteria.

You might wanna do something about it.

Or don't. You know. Whatever. It's kind of awesome as it is.

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_1:43pm  
_**To: **Megurine Luka  
**From: **Kagamine Rin

You will never believe what's going on. MEIKO AND MIKU ARE ACTUALLY FIGHTING. Something about plastic boobs and hair extensions. Oh, and Kaito too.

Weirdly enough, though, the subject of Kaito didn't come up as much.

.

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_1:44pm  
_**To: **Kagamine Rin  
**From: **Megurine Luka

Well, I'm a little busy at the library at the moment. Record the fight for me?

_._

_._

_1:45pm_

**To: **Megurine Luka  
**From: **Kagamine Rin

...Oh. OH. OHHHHHH.

I see. 'BUSY.' 'AT THE LIBRARY.' 'AT THE _MOMENT_.'

Of course I'll record the fight for you... since you're busy. At the library. At the moment.

.

.

_1:46pm  
_**To: **Kagamine Rin  
**From: **Megurine Luka

...Yes, I think we've established that I'm busy at the library at the moment.

...Oh God, Rin, your mind is dirty.

.

.

.

.

.

_2:33pm  
_**To: **Hatsune Miku  
**From: **Kaito

Mikuuuuuuuu, is it true that you got into a fight with Meiko?

.

.

_2:34pm  
_**To:** Kaito Bitchface  
**From: **Hatsune Miku

Hells yes. I was defending my womanly honour, asswipe of the male generation.

WHERE WERE _YOU _AT THE TIME?

.

.

_2:35pm  
_**To: **Hatsune Miku  
**From: **Kaito

I was gardening D:

.

.

_2:36pm  
_**To: **Kaito Bitchface  
**From: **Hatsune Miku

Gardening.

You were _gardening_.

IS THAT SOME KIND OF EUPHEMISM FOR SEX, OR SOMETHING?

.

.

_2:37pm  
_**To: **Hatsune Miku  
**From: **Kaito

Er, no? Today we planted pumpkins.

.

.

_2:38pm  
_**To: **Kaito  
**From: **Hatsune Miku

You planted –

You planted PUMPKINS.

YOU PLANTED PUMPKINS WHILE I, YOUR GIRLFRIEND, WHO YOU HAVEN'T EVEN TAKEN OUT YET, WAS BITCHFIGHTING WITH YOUR FIANCE.

That's just... that's just GREAT, Kaito.

Go shovel yourself into a dirthole or something. WITH YOUR BELOVED PUMPKINS.

.

.

.

.

.

**FROM: **DIVALICIOUSMIKU01  
**TO: **Lmqeen, Rin-K  
**SUBJECT: **My ass of a boyfriend

We haven't even gone out officially, he's 'engaged' to his childhood friend Meiko, and I'm being a jealous harpy over everything.

God, I've even ATTACKED someone because of Kaito. WHAT HAVE I BECOME?

What claim do I have over him, anyway? Little to none. I'm beginning to think he only asked me out because I was always pathetically pining over him.

I need advice, o wise ones.

.

.

**FROM: **Rin-K  
**TO: **DIVALICIOUSMIKU01, Lmqueen  
**SUBJECT: **re: My ass of a boyfriend

Well... normally I'd say 'don't give up!', especially since you like him and everything...

But Kaito's attitude during all this... it's kind of suspicious. I mean, hello? You do not go gardening when your girlfriend is being attacked. Or is attacking people.

Then again, what do I know? I've never had a boyfriend. What do you think, Luka?

.

.

**FROM: **Lmqueen  
**TO: **DIVALICIOUSMIKU01, Rin-K  
**SUBJECT: **re: re: My ass of a boyfriend

Hmm... if you really want him, then don't give up. But if he's not worth it, then please do.

And what the hell is that about? What makes you think I've ever had a boyfriend?

.

.

**FROM: **Rin-K  
**TO: **DIVALICIOUSMIKU01, Lmqueen  
**SUBJECT: **[no subject]

Hello, Gakupo? Did you forget all about him?

.

.

**FROM: **Lmqueen  
**TO: **DIVALICIOUSMIKU01, Rin-K  
**SUBJECT: **re: [no subject]

I am disgusted that you'd ever think a piece of purple filth could qualify as my boyfriend.

.

.

**FROM: **DIVALICIOUSMIKU01  
**TO: **Lmqueen, Rin-K  
**SUBJECT: **re: re: [no subject]

As much as I'd like to holler about how Luka is obviously in denial about Gakupo, I'm honestly upset right now and therefore I have no suitable retort.

Why did I like Kaito in the first place? I mean, he's cute, but now I'm starting to wonder why I liked him for so long...

.

.

**FROM: **Rin-K  
**TO: **Lmqueen, DIVALICIOUSMIKU01  
**SUBJECT: **The list

Let's see.

1) His abs.  
2) His hair.  
3) The fact that he could bounce back from anything with a smile on his face (your cheesy words, not mine.)  
4) The way he got shy about things.  
5) How dense he could be sometimes.  
6) How sexy he looks when he's mad.  
7) The fact that he collects teapots and always complains to the cafeteria ladies about the lack of ice cream.  
8) The fact that he owns a pet snake called 'Fluffy'.  
9) How he sometimes reads shoujo mangas.  
10) His smile. It's really sweet.  
11) His abs.

.

.

**FROM: **DIVALICIOUSMIKU01  
**TO: **Rin-K, Lmqueen  
**SUBJECT: **re: The list

...Wow, uh. I had no idea about the teapots or the pet snake.

Or about the shoujo manga.

Rin?

.

.

**FROM: **Rin-K  
**TO: **DIVALICIOUSMIKU01, Lmqueen  
**SUBJECT: **re: re: The list

WHAT? You said those things. Didn't you?

Or maybe I heard it from some other girl who likes Kaito. I don't know, why are you asking me?

.

.

**FROM: **Lmqueen  
**TO: **DIVALICIOUSMIKU01, Rin-K  
**SUBJECT: **re: re: re: The list

Another girl who likes Kaito? What other girl?

.

.

**FROM: **Rin-K

**TO: **DIVALICIOUSMIKU01, Lmqueen  
**SUBJECT: **re: re: re: re: The list

I don't know! Kaito's popular, there are plenty of girls who like him.

Jeez, it's just a list. No need to get so suspicious over it. What the hell.

Anyway. Miku, if you like him, then repair your relationship or whatever. If you don't, then don't! Easy as that. Instant boyfriend, just add water. Or sex. Whatever.

Now I have to have dinner. See you guys tomorrow.

.

.

**FROM: **DIVALICIOUSMIKU01  
**TO: **Lmqueen  
**SUBJECT: **oh god

Oh my God. Does Rin like Kaito?

I mean, I'm not angry or anything, it's just... Rin and Kaito?

I'm his girlfriend and I had no idea about the shoujo manga thing. Or the teapot thing.

Or even the pet snake. I haven't even been in his house.

Oh my God. She likes Kaito, doesn't she?

I could've sworn she liked Len.

I swear, the world doesn't even make SENSE anymore.

.

.

**FROM: **Lmqueen  
**TO: **DIVALICIOUSMIKU01  
**SUBJECT: **re: oh god

She had a crush on him in eighth grade, but other than that? I had no idea, either.

I don't know. Rin probably won't say anything about it. We should probably look for signs.

Get Len! She always has dinner with Len, right? Text him.

...But I could've sworn she liked Len, too. Maybe she really doesn't like him.

Now go text Len.

.

.

.

.

.

_6:24pm  
_**To: **Kagamine Len  
**From: **Hatsune Miku

Hey, you're having dinner, right?

.

.

_6:25pm  
_**To: **Hatsune Miku  
**From: **Kagamine Len

Yep, having dinner. But right now I'm texting you.

.

.

_6:26pm  
_**To: **Kagamine Len  
**From: **Hatsune Miku

Hardeharhar. How incredibly witty.

Anyway. Bring the subject of Kaito up with Rin. But not like, in a totally obvious way. Just like 'hey, Kaito does gardening now, right?' or something like that. Or ask about how Kaito and I are doing now. Anything to do with Kaito that isn't blatantly obvious. BE SUBTLE.

.

.

_6:27pm  
_**To: **Hatsune Miku  
**From: **Kagamine Len

...Why?

.

.

_6:28pm_**  
To: **Kagamine Len  
**From: **Hatsune Miku

Because I think that Rin might like Kaito! SHE KNEW ABOUT THE TEAPOTS.

.

.

_6:29pm_**  
To: **Hatsune Miku  
**From: **Kagamine Len

TEAPOTS? What?

And Rin doesn't like Kaito. No way. That doesn't make sense.

.

.

_6:30pm_**  
To: **Kagamine Len  
**From: **Hatsune Miku

That's what I thought, too! But she totally likes him. And has probably liked him since eighth grade. She knows that he collects teapots, reads shoujo manga, has a pet snake called 'Fluffy' andand_and_ she's seen him angry!

I'm his girlfriend and I knew about NONE OF THIS. I thought she liked _you_! But she totally likes Kaito. She got all defensive about it when we asked.

.

.

_6:52pm_**  
To: **Kagamine Len

**From: **Hatsune Miku

Len? Len, you there?

.

.

.

.

.

**FROM: **LEN_k888  
**TO: **DIVALICIOUSMIKU01  
**SUBJECT: **Rin and Kaito

She likes him. No question.

Sorry that he's your boyfriend.

.

.

.

.

.

**A/N: **everyone wants to throw at tomato at me, don't they? Aha, sorry...


	7. 2 Sep: Luka is prettier than a cat

_8:53pm_**  
To: **Kagamine Len  
**From: **Hatsune Miku

WHAT?

SO SHE DEFINITELY LIKES KAITO?

DEFINITELY DEFINITELY?

DEFINITELY DEFINITELY DEFINITELY?

.

.

_8:57pm_**  
To: **Kagamine Len  
**From: **Hatsune Miku

DUDE. I TOTALLY GET THAT YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY DEVASTATED BY THE SHEER FACT THAT YOUR COUSIN MAY NOT WANT TO WILDLY ROMP WITH YOU BUT THIS IS SO MUCH MORE IMPORTANT.

.

.

_9:01pm_**  
To: **Kagamine Len  
**From: **Hatsune Miku

Len. Len. LEN.

OKAY THAT WAS MEAN. RIN/LEN ACTION IS IMPORTANT TOO. I AM SORRY. FORGIVE ME?

.

.

_9:05pm_**  
To: **Kagamine Len  
**From: **Hatsune Miku

LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN.

.

.

_9:10pm_**  
To: **Kagamine Len  
**From: **Hatsune Miku

UGH. I hate you.

.

.

.

.

.

**FROM: **DIVALICIOUSMIKU01  
**TO: **Lmqueen

So I decide to ask Len to bring up Kaito subtly.

And so he agrees because he wants her to raise his babies.

And then he sends me this AMBIGUOUS EMAIL THAT SAYS

"She likes him. No question.

Sorry he's your boyfriend."

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

.

.

**FROM: **Lmqueen  
**TO: **DIVALICIOUSMIKU01

That sounds so… forlorn. Maybe she said something and he misinterpreted it? I don't know, even if Rin _did _like Kaito, I find it hard to believe that she'd tell Len straight out. Did you ask him about it?

.

.

**FROM: **DIVALICIOUSMIKU01  
**TO: **Lmqueen

YES I DID. I sent him heaps of texts and he hasn't replied to _any _of them. Not ONE.

Dude, what if she really _does _like him? Then what? Oh my God, this will be so awkward…

.

.

**FROM: **Lmqueen  
**TO: **DIVALICIOUSMIKU01

Well, maybe he's asleep?

She hasn't acted on her feelings before, so I doubt she'd act on them now. I'm sure you're safe.

.

.

**FROM: **DIVALICIOUSMIKU01  
**TO: **Lmqueen

Oh yeah. Totally. Asleep at 9:30. GOOD ONE LUKA.

I'm not worried about her _stealing _him away, it's just going to be so uncomfortable when we're around each other.

I _swear _she liked Len.

I _swear _she did.

.

.

**FROM: **Lmqueen  
**TO: **DIVALICIOUSMIKU01

I know. I thought she did too.

I say, let the girl tell us on her own. If she really _does _have feelings for Kaito, then she'll tell you sooner or later I'm sure.

.

.

.

.

.

_8:57am_**  
To: **Megurine Luka  
**From: **Hatsune Miku

Oh my God.

Have not been able to sleep, _at all_.

Or talk to Kaito.

Or… do, like, anything.

THIS IS THE WORST YEAR EVER. Can we just move to France or something? And eat bread? Forever and ever?

.

.

_8:59am_**  
To: **Hatsune Miku  
**From: **Megurine Luka

I don't think so, no.

.

.

_8:59am_**  
To: **Megurine Luka  
**From: **Hatsune Miku

I miss Rin.

.

.

.

.

.

_10:34am  
_**To: **Kagamine Len  
**From: **Hatsune Miku

DON'T THINK THAT I'VE FORGOTTEN YOU.

I KNOW WHERE YOU SIT.

AND I KNOW WHERE YOU SIT WHEN YOU DON'T SIT WHERE YOU USUALLY SIT.

I WILL FIND YOU!

.

.

.

.

.

_10:40am  
_**To: **Kagamine Rin  
**From: **Megurine Luka

So… what's with you running in the other direction we walked towards you?

.

.

_10:41am  
_**To: **Megurine Luka  
**From: **Kagamine Rin

OH. That was you guys?

I thought it was Meiko.

.

.

_10:42am  
_**To: **Kagamine Rin  
**From: **Megurine Luka

…you thought we were Meiko.

The both of us. Combined. Into someone who wears red leather and has brown hair, colours that NEITHER of us wear.

.

.

_10:43am  
_**To: **Megurine Luka  
**From: **Kagamine Rin

…OKAY, OKAY, I CAVE.

I RAN AWAY ON PURPOSE.

I'M SORRY.

PLEASE DON'T TELL MIKU.

.

.

_10:44am  
_**To: **Kagamine Rin  
**From: **Megurine Luka

Why?

.

.

_10:45am  
_**To: **Megurine Luka  
**From: **Kagamine Rin

Because it got _weird _when the whole Kaito list happened. I don't want her thinking I _like _him or whatever.

.

.

_10:46am  
_**To: **Kagamine Rin  
**From: **Megurine Luka

You're right. That _was _weird.

_Do _you like him?

.

.

_10:56am  
_**To: **Megurine Luka  
**From: **Kagamine Rin

Um. No.

.

.

_10:57am  
_**To: **Kagamine Rin  
**From: **Megurine Luka

That doesn't sound very promising...

.

.

_10:58am  
_**To: **Megurine Luka  
**From: **Kagamine Rin

It's complicated.

.

.

_10:59am  
_**To: **Kagamine Rin  
**From: **Megurine Luka

…it's complicated? You have an '_it's complicated' _with Kaito?

How is it that I've never heard _anything _about this?

.

.

_11:01am_

**To: **Megurine Luka  
**From: **Kagamine Rin

Yes I know I'm a horrible person I know I know

Look, I'll tell you all about it at lunch. Meet me at the library? Oh wait, what about Miku?

.

.

_11:02am_

**To: **Kagamine Rin  
**From: **Megurine Luka

Don't you want to tell Miku, too? Anyway, it doesn't matter. She'll be out hunting for Len.

.

.

_11:03am_

**To: **Megurine Luka  
**From: **Kagamine Rin

What, why?

.

.

_11:04am_

**To: **Kagamine Rin  
**From: **Megurine Luka

Well, she asked Len if see if he could find out whether or not you liked Kaito, and he replied something like, 'She definitely likes him, sorry he's your boyfriend'.

.

.

_11:05am_

**To: **Megurine Luka  
**From: **Kagamine Rin

OH MY GOD.

OH MY GOD!

THIS MAKES SO MUCH SENSE NOW.

OH MY GOD.

FML.

.

.

_11:06am  
_**To: **Kagamine Rin

**From: **Megurine Luka

What happened?

.

.

_11:07am  
_**To: **Megurine Luka  
**From: **Kagamine Rin

I'LL TELL YOU IN A SECOND! FMLLLLLL

.

.

.

.

.

_11:20am  
_**To: **Kagamine Len  
**From: **Hatsune Miku

WHERE ARE YOUUUUUUUUU

WHERE ARE YOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUU

WHEEEEEEEERRRRRRREEEEEEE AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRREEEE YOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUU

.

.

_11:21am_

**To: **Hatsune Miku

**From: **Kagamine Len

STOP TEXTING ME. YOU'RE GOING TO GET MY PHONE CONFISCATED.

.

.

_11:22am  
_**To: **Kagamine Len

**From: **Hatsune Miku

WHY ARE YOU STILL IN CLASS? COME OUT YOU BIG FAT LOSER

sorry I didn't mean that. PLEASE COME OUT OF YOUR CLASSROOM LEN, I HAVE SOME VERY IMPORTANT THINGS TO ASK OF YOU

.

.

_11:23am_

**To: **Hatsune Miku

**From: **Kagamine Len

Can't you just trust me when I say that Rin likes Kaito, and just... deal with it yourself?

.

.

_11:24am_

**To: **Kagamine Len  
**From: **Hatsune Miku

TRUST YOU?

TRUST _YOU_?

HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN ABOUT THE TIME YOU PUT A FROG IN MY LUNCHBOX AND TOLD ME IT WAS A NEW KIND OF FREDDO FROG AND MADE ME EAT IT?

.

.

_11:25am_

**To: **Hatsune Miku

**From: **Kagamine Len

Firstly, that was in fourth grade.

And secondly, WHAT KIND OF AN IDIOT WOULD NOT SEE THAT THAT FROG WAS LIVING AND _ BREATHING_?

.

.

_11:26am_

**To: **Kagamine Len  
**From: **Hatsune Miku

I DID SEE IT WAS LIVING AND BREATHING. BUT I TRUSTED YOU. AND LOOK WHERE IT GOT ME.

.

.

_11:27am_

**To: **Hatsune Miku  
**From: **Kagamine Len

Is that _you _outside the door?

.

.

_11:28am_

**To: **Kagamine Len

**From: **Hatsune Miku

YES I AM HERE WAITING FOR YOU.

.

.

_11:29am_

**To: **Hatsune Miku

**From: **Kagamine Len

Yeah.

Kaito is wondering why you're texting _me _and waiting for _me _to finish detention, instead of him.

What do you want me to tell him?

.

.

_11:30am  
_**To: **Kagamine Len  
**From: **Hatsune Miku

...OH MY GOD.

THIS IS BRILLIANT.

YOU ARE BRILLIANT.

Tell him that we have a friendship that we CANNOT DISCLOSE, and having a non-disclosure friendship means that we have to have non-disclosure friendship meetings THAT HE CANNOT BE APART OF.

.

.

_11:31am_

**To: **Hatsune Miku

**From: **Kagamine Len

That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard.

.

.

_11:32am_

**To: **Kagamine Len  
**From: **Hatsune Miku

You want to copulate with your cousin. And I want to copulate with your best friend.

SUCH MEASURES ARE NECESSARY. TAKE ONE FOR THE TEAM.

.

.

_11:33am_

**To: **Hatsune Miku

**From: **Kagamine Len

Urgh. Fine. I'll tell you what happened.

_._

_._

_11:34am  
_**To: **Kagamine Len  
**From: **Hatsune Miku

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE YAAAAAAAAY ILY LE 3

.

.

.

.

.

.

**FROM: **Lmqueen

**TO: **DIVALICIOUSMIKU01

Did you find out what happened with Len?

.

.

**FROM: **DIVALICIOUSMIKU01  
**TO: **Lmqueen

YES I DID. I got him to spill.

Did you end up talking to Rin?

.

.

**FROM: **Lmqueen  
**TO: **DIVALICIOUSMIKU01

Yeah, I did. It was rather interesting.

Tell me about Len, then I'll tell you about Rin.

.

.

**FROM: **DIVALICIOUSMIKU01  
**TO: **Lmqueen

OK.

So I meet up with him after class. Except he was in detention, so I had to like wait there for twenty-five minutes.

SO. He comes out with Kaito, and guess what, I TOTALLY SNUBBED HIM. Kaito, I mean. I was all like, "Oh, didn't see you there" and walked off with Len, arm in arm. It is a totally ingenious plan.

Anyway. So I'm with Len, and we go sit on the benches behind the toilets, and he's all like talking about how he wasn't sure if he should really talk about it, how I should just trust him when he says that she likes Kaito, blah blah blah, but eventually he got to the juicy stuff and said that he found a stuffed yellow lion in her bedroom with a little card saying 'Love, Kaito'.

!

And I was like "that doesn't have to mean anything" AND YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN LEN'S FACE, THE UTTER _DESPAIR_. Oh man, I knew he liked Rin, but wow. And so he's like, "No, there's more to the story" and goes on about how, after some snooping, he found Kaito's _middle school photos _and an envelope stashed underneath the lion saying _'Dear Kaito'._

DO YOU THINK RIN HAD AN AFFAIR WITH KAITO?

OH MY GOD.

DOES THIS MEAN HE'S MYSTERIOUS PIANO GUY?

Anyway. WHAT DID RIN SAY?

.

.

**FROM: **Lmqueen  
**TO: **DIVALICIOUSMIKU01

...WOW.

'Dear Kaito'? Hmmm...

AND YES MIKU, KAITO IS MYSTERIOUS PIANO GUY.

Miku, don't you know what this means? That means all that stuff about Mysterious Piano Guy's _mum _applies to _Kaito's _mum.

.

.

**FROM: **DIVALICIOUSMIKU01

**TO:** Lmqueen

I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT RIN NEVER TOLD ME THAT MYSTERIOUS PIANO GUY WAS KAITO, OF ALL PEOPLE. KAITO.

She was like, MPG's CONFIDANTE. They were _really _tight. But I guess it makes sense in a way. It's terrible that Kaito's mum had four miscarriages, though. Wow, I totally feel like I know _nothing _about him. Rin knows way more about him. This is lame.

But wait, Rin told us that MPG moved away... what do you think really happened? Or did Rin tell you?

.

.

**FROM: **Lmqueen  
**TO: **DIVALICIOUSMIKU01

She didn't tell me. And I didn't have the heart to ask, she looked so devastated.

.

.

**FROM: **DIVALICIOUSMIKU01

**TO: **Lmqueen

OK. I know what to do. Don't worry.

.

.

.

.

.

_8:23pm_

**To: **Shion Kaito  
**From: **Hatsune Miku

Hey, bitchpants?

WE NEED TO TALK.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

_9:00pm_

**To: **Megurine Luka  
**From: **Gakupo

Oh, my blossom,

You are cuter

Than a possum

Prettier

Than a cat

I would love you

Even if you were fat

.

.

_9:05pm_

**To: **Gakupo  
**From: **Megurine Luka

...um.

.

.

.

.

.

**a/n: **yoyoyoyoyo! Okay, I know you all want to kick me. Enjoy the update? :D


End file.
